Receiving Feedback with Poise

In my last newsletter I shared with you how to Give Constructive Feedback, and thought I would follow-up this week with how to Receive Feedback with Poise. You can receive positive and negative feedback and sometimes both can be a surprise so how do you prepare yourself for this. When receiving feedback is linked to job performance it can be just as difficult for the receiver as for the giver, here are some tips to bear in mind to help you move forward.

1)  Pause, Think, React

Listen carefully take a few moments to take in the information; If the feedback is negative try to remain calm and compose yourself, try not to come across defensively, especially if the feedback is in real-time. If the feedback is positive allow yourself the pleasure of having your self-esteem boosted. Don’t dismiss the feedback with a put down like “well it’s about time I get something right for a change”

2)  Check Reason

If you are unclear about the feedback positive or negative ask for further clarification, ask the giver to be more specific. For example ask “what is it about the way I presented that you thought was good or not so good?”

3)  Evaluate

Look at the feedback objectively try not to view it as a personal attack. Do you agree or disagree?  Is this something you are aware of? And what can you do about or with the feedback? What have you learnt from it? By asking yourself these question/s it will allow you to move on in a positive way.

4)  Reply

When someone has taken the time to give you constructive feedback, take the time to thank them for sharing it with you, take it as a gift and learn from it.

5)  Acknowledge and Remember

Positive feedback is news or input about a performance well done. Negative feedback is news about a performance that needs improvement. Negative feedback doesn’t mean a terrible performance, but rather a performance in which the outcomes delivered should be better. So negative is not a negative word in this case.

6) What have I learnt?

If your feedback was positive ask yourself; How you will sustain it? What was the motivation? How can I enjoy it? If you feedback was negative; Remember there is always room for improvement, ask yourself; What have I learnt about me? What have I learnt about how I work with others? What can I do to improve? What can I do differently next time? I hope you found my tips useful in your day to day activities.

“True intuitive expertise is learned from prolonged experience with good feedback on mistakes.” Daniel Kahneman